R U Fucking Kidding Me? A new theme for a new age of romance

Of all the songs in all the world, I’d have to say that this song has the best odds of being posted to the most Facebook pages. Romance has truly entered a new era, one where pickups are done via text and dumpings by a change in one’s Facebook status (“what does he mean he’s single??? Ooooooh, NOW I get it!”), and this? Is its theme song.

Australian Kate Miller-Heidke has perfectly summed up the definitive ethical and emotional dilemma  of the 21st Century in her heart-wrenching little ditty…

That guy? Don’t be that guy, guys.

R U Fucking Kidding Me, by Kate Miller-Heidke

Lyrics:

They say everyone should have their heart broken at least once
And that is how you grow emotionally
Well I have been misused by many, many, many men
But nothing can compare to how you treated me
At times it really felt as though the pain was here to stay
And though it’s many years I go I feel it to this day
And now, you wanna be my friend on Facebook
Are you f*cking kidding me?

All the memories are flooding back to me now
All the ways you stole the light from my eyes
I travelled so far, just to get away from you
‘Til this morning’s friend request, surprise!
At times it really felt as though i’d never smile again
You narcissistic a*sehole
Oh you nasty nasty man
And now, you wanna be my friend on Facebook
Are you f*cking kidding…?

I don’t know what kind of cocktail you are
Which member of The Beatles or which 1950s movie star
I don’t give a toss if you’re a ninja or a pirate
I suspect you’d be a pirate, but I don’t wanna verify it
And I don’t give a sh*t what your stripper name is
Or if your kitty had a litter
Look – Just follow me on twitter
I don’t care about your family tree
And I certainly don’t want you POKING ME…
again

And so you wanna be my friend on Facebook
Oh you f*cking, f*cking f*ck…
Click, “Ignore”.